Look Mom, Another School Shooting

129 mass shootings in the U.S. this year (through March 27, 2023)

13 school mass shootings in the U.S. this year (through March 27, 2023)

That’s 1 per week.  

ONE PER WEEK! 

Firearms are now the #1 leading cause of death for American children and teens.  

With approximately 130,930 K-12 schools in the U.S. (according to the National Center of Education Statistics), I started to calculate what the odds are of a school being terrorized by a mass shooter… 

until my husband shared his views and I stopped. The fact that mass shootings at schools are a weekly statistic now – like a childhood cancer diagnosis and teenage suicide rate – is demoralizing.  Each week, more children fall victim to this crisis and yet all we do is converse about it. 

Are Our Children Psychologically Numb? 

“Look mom, another school shooting.” My daughter shared when she came home from school and turned on the television. 

I told her it was probably an old news clip because I hadn’t heard of another shooting. I was wrong. It was live coverage.  As I quickly grabbed my phone and started to read about the horrific events at a private elementary school in Nashville, she simply proceeded to change the channel.

Later in the afternoon, I started to think about my daughter’s reaction to what she saw on tv.  My concern was that there was no reaction.  The news of a shooting at an elementary school didn’t seem to phase her. 

Did my kid become numb to the news of a school shooting? If so, was this normal? 

It’s been almost a year since the shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde. When that happened, my daughter was scared.  She asked us if someone was going to come to her school with a gun.  She asked what she should do if that were to happen at her school.

So, in one year, is she already psychologically numb to this news? For kids, are these tragedies normalized now?  I didn’t bring up the topic. If she didn’t have questions or didn’t want to talk about it – yet – I thought it better to wait.  

Several hours later, however, when the day started to wind down, she started to talk about it. I answered her questions honestly. She watches the news with us and truth be told, it’s the reality of the world we live in.  You can no longer escape or ignore the conversation of mass shootings.  

I asked her what she was feeling and she said she was sad for the families that lost someone today. She was sad that more kids died. And then she said she was angry. And you could see that, although delayed, she was having a visceral response to the news. She was literally angry.  

She called the shooter “stupid” repeatedly. We usually don’t allow her to call people “stupid” but I listened and let her share her feelings.  She said she thought guns are good because they protect people but questioned repeatedly why people use them badly (perhaps our children should speak before Congress).  

She asked where people get guns and if they will be taken away if they use them irresponsibly.  

I started to see her wheels turn and a part of me was glad. She wasn’t numb to this crisis after all.  But another part of me was saddened. Her mental health was impacted in some way by this.

I asked her if she was scared and she said “No. Because it hasn’t happened close to my school yet.  But I also don’t like doing the drills if there is a shooter in our school.”  Clearly, she didn’t comprehend, and I didn’t tell her, that this can happen at any time, even at her school. 

It’s hard to write this… but, what if our child’s school is next?  

Domestic Terrorism

Our school does have a plan in the event of an active shooter and it has been shared with parents.  The teacher locks the door, the children hide in the bathroom area, etc.  

Is this enough? Already since the Nashville attacks, there have been two lockdowns at San Antonio schools and parents are pleading for more security.  

After this week’s shooting, I spoke to a mom who grew up in Lebanon and moved to the U.S. seventeen years ago.   She said terrorist attacks were the daily norm for her so she hasn’t been taken aback or frightened by the mass shootings.  By all means, she wasn’t callous about them either.  It was the first time however that I considered our nation’s public crisis in comparison to the domestic violence of a war torn country.  

This particular mom tells her son, in the event of an active shooter, you hide and you hide quickly. Based on her experience growing up, don’t try to be a hero and fight someone with a weapon because you won’t win.  Her son is twelve years old.  

When our daughter asks us what she should do if it happens at her school, we tell her to trust her teacher. Hide. Stay as calm as she can and stay silent. Do not move.   

She wears a Gabb watch to school and I reminded her that in an emergency situation, she is to call us and if possible, whisper our family emergency word/phrase.  She said “but mommy, we are supposed to be quiet if it happens at our school. I can’t call you”.  I told her we will be quiet but if she calls us we can hear what is happening and share it with the police.

I don’t know if I’m saying the right things. I may not have the right advice to give.  We didn’t go through this as children.  But I’m writing this blog because I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way.  I’m also sure some of your kids want to talk about it and others may be psychologically numb to it.  

 I don’t want our kids to live in fear. Our children should NOT be living in fear. 

So, if you have any thoughts or advice to share, please do! They are welcome. 

I hate having to have these conversations with my child but we have to have a plan… just in case we are next… 

What I do know is that I’m scared every time I drop her off at school and more so, every week that I hear of another mass shooting. We send our kids to school for an education, plain and simple.  And now we pray that each and every day, they and every adult in that building, come home safely to us.